Late Update

We had a meeting with the 'overlege' (psychiatrist) at BUP a month ago. I was supposed to bring contrarian with but I misunderstood and went alone.

I was under the impression that we were about to be signed out of the system with ADHD. That means no more tests just an annual follow up once a year. Our general practitioner can then give us the subscription drug Medikinet.

The doc was asking about our routines and what contrarian does after school etc when she suddenly said "it occurs to me that you still have to prepare him a lot for any change in routine".

We discussed how the medicine had in no way changed his intolerance for change in his routine.

The doc decided that she was not happy signing him out yet and she wants to see him again in December.

For the past month contrarian has not plaid with his friends after school. I asked the teacher if anything was going on but he said contrarian was very sociable at school. Last week he suddenly started visiting his friends after school again. I can only assume it was a 'phase' he was going through.

I did receive an email from school asking me to please talk to contrarian about taking his jacket and shoes off in the hall. He holds on to his jacket for dear life and won't let it out of sight.

I had a chat to him about it. Quite simple actually.

I said: "Contrarian, the school phoned today"

Contrarian: "Yes?"

"They want you to take your jacket off just like the other children have to".

Contrarian: "Oh...."

"If you can hang your jacket in the hall at home then you can do it at school!"

Contrarian: "Yes........"

"If you don't then there'll be no Wii games on Saturdays!".

Contrarian: "I'll hang my jacket in the hall like the others".

Sorted!

When ADHD works....

There's been meetings - plenty of meetings but all positive!

Contrarian has had a wonderful start to school even with a new school building, new teacher, new assistant and new special education teacher.

In fact the special education teacher has had to 'scrap' her 'special program' for the boy. He doesn't want to be taken out of the class room and his teacher feels that there is no need for him to have a 'special program' - for now. He is concentrating and completing his work.

At home the home work is going well.

He still does not like change to his routine. I put a new bookshelf in his room to make it look nicer - the result was tears and he wouldn't sleep in his room for 3 nights.

We spoke about it and he said that the 'new things' disturb him so much that he can't sleep.

There was a school sleepover trip last week. Last year it was a complete disaster. This year it was a great success. I was on the committee for planning the trip and so I slept over with the kids. It gave me a real opportunity to observe.

It was a wonderful feeling watching him with the other kids - he is now 'one of them' irrespective of his eccentricities.

Parents at school have started greeting me. I'm not sure if it is because they have realised that we are not a dysfunctional family or if it is because of my tenacity. Of course there is one dad who does not greet me but I truly think the man needs a shrink more than all the ADHD kids in the school put together.

We also had a parent meeting last week. The parent association brought up the issue of gossip and the negative effect it had on a particular case (no names mentioned). They recommended that in future it would be better for parents to rather phone the school and ask questions if they felt that a child was behaving differently instead of listening to gossip. It was pointed out that some families have challenges to deal with and need support not gossip and hostility.

Right now I am looking at the world from the top of Kilimanjaro. I am so excited for my son's future I can barely breathe. No doubt we will stumble as we continue our journey but for now - we can take a breather.

Still taking Medikinet 10 mg pr day. Sleeping problems are getting better. Change of routine - reading time from 8pm til 8.45. Warm bath after 8.45 - seems to have a calming effect. Boy is asleep by 10 pm.

Stomach ache continues. Have tried cutting out milk but no effect. Currently waking him up 6.45am to allow for early breakfast and rest after breakfast.

Nevropsykologisk rapport

Tuesday 22 March

Today I had a meeting with the neuropsychologist.

He strongly feels that contrarian has ADHD in addition to Aspergers. It's difficult to know if the 'impulsive behavior' is a symptom of the Aspergers or ADHD but there's a strong possibility it's the ADHD.

If it is a symptom of ADHD then medication could help in the therapy.

If it's a symptom of Aspergers - well then the medication won't do much good.

I have always been very reluctant to use drugs on a child. Drugs have no place in a child's body. But then there are children like my son who really want to 'fit in'. Like most children - he just wants to be like everybody else. The thing is - he's not like everybody else.

If medication can give him the 'thing' that he needs to be able to behave like other kids in new situations and with strangers - maybe that's a good thing.

Maybe it will open a whole new world for him. The ability to try new things and make new friends.

Everything is going well at the moment. The three musketeers (friends) have found eachother again.

I had a meeting with his teacher yesterday. Things are going well at school - much better than they used to. This last week he has been uncooperative and questioning everything but it is always much better than it was a few months back.

The teacher has put contrarian in charge of a project - teaching the other kids English by presenting them with questions to answer.

He thrives in his role as 'English teacher'.

Below is a diagram. The average is 50. It is clear that contrarians ability to focus and shift focus is way below average.

An appointment has been made with the psychiatrist for 1 June.

Meeting with the school, PPT and BUP

On the 1st December we had a meeting at the school - BUP, PPT, teacher and school inspector. It was interesting and I must say that I feel cofident that all parties involved are doing their best for my little contrarian.

The diagnoses has not been given yet as we still have a few more weeks of observation/questioning. However, BUP felt confident enough to inform the school that we are dealing with both ADHD and Aspergers.

It's just not decided which one affects his behaviour most and where on the Autism spectrum he is.

I was considering renaming my blog 'twice exceptional' but I think I'll have to go with 'three times exceptional'.

Highly gifted, ADHD and Aspergers. That does allow for a dynamic mixture.

The social side is going better than ever. Our contrarian is visiting one of his two new friends nearly every day of the week. I have informed the parents of the situation and told them to please just let me know if it gets too much for them.

The 'Vennegruppe' last week went well. I'm glad I went with and stayed because my little chap did get very 'enthusiastic' at times but I managed to calm him down reasonably fast.

The school has introduced a 'motivational learning chart' where he gets a star if he completes X amount of questions.

He might have outgrown the stars but I will add a beyblade of his choice if he manages to get all the stars for the month.

We have to work on his motivation!

Today

One and a half hours with BUP (child and teenage psychiatric dep) answering questions and more questions. We are still not finished.

It's taking longer because there are always two answers to each question. This is how he would respond at home but this is how he responds in front of other people.

The psychiatrist told me that I have made her job difficult for her - which is a good thing. In our home we have built a 'stilas' (scaffolding) around our contrarian which has ensured his relative normal functioning.

It's when he has to face the world outside - by himself without the scaffolding that things go wobbly.

There's another appointment just before Christmas to finish the questions, another appointment to go through his WISC (IQ) test results and a separate appointment in the new year where she wants to observe him personally.

Contrarian came home all excited today. He had been invited to Jip's house. He had come home to tell me that he was going (he remembered that I told him he had to come home). But when we got to Jip's house nobody was home.

My contrarian was devastated! He couldn't understand why they had lied to him. I assured him that there must have been a misunderstanding as Jip's parents are divorced (separate houses) and the gran has picked him up from the bus stop.

Maybe Jip was at his dad's house or gran's house?

Contrarian cried loudly all the way home - it felt like the end of the world for him.

I had to listen to how boring his life was and how terribly fed up he was with watching TV (he hasn't even watched TV the last 3 days).

He recovered a short while later and we had a nice evening at home.

BUP - close to final stage

Yesterday I spent an hour with BUP (child and teenage psychiatric dep). We have reached the stage where the psychiatrist is focusing on Aspergers's - or rather eliminating it. She feels that all other diagnoses can be eliminated.

It was an hour of questions - 'when did he say his first word/sentence?, did he use me as a tool or extension of himself before he could speak, does he point when he wants to direct my attention at something? etc etc etc'.

It was exhausting!

Next week there's another hour of questions.

We reached the question of 'does he play with his sentences -i.e say things in a strange way - can you give me an example of something that he has said?'.

Yes, he does play with words but for the life of me I can't remember a concrete example.

The thing is - it can seem as if he is 'stupid' because the sentence doesn't make sense but if you enquire you will find that there is a thought in his head that he has added. So once he explains what he is thinking - then the sentence makes sense.

His big brother does the same thing - tries to be 'superior' by playing with words. I think it's an attempt at wit.

I'll have to be 'on the look out' this week and write it down when next he does something like that.

The psychiatrist made me realize something though. It was only when we moved to England at the age of five that I started noticing that my boy was 'different'. Specifically I realized that he was not as 'mature' as children his own age. Before that I merely thought of him as being active whilst everybody else was shouting 'ADHD!'.

He wanted to play for the sake of playing not for winning or competition.

He was extremely outgoing and had no problem approaching children until the age of six. That was when he started avoiding direct eye contact with the other children.

He stil doesn't have a problem approaching other children. It's understanding their play without getting offended about something or other that is the problem.

'Does he come across as a little professor?'.

I would say more like a 'prosecuting attorney'. He can destroy your defense so fast your head spins. Sometimes I am left thinking 'what just happened, how did I lose that debate so quickly?'.