Late Update

We had a meeting with the 'overlege' (psychiatrist) at BUP a month ago. I was supposed to bring contrarian with but I misunderstood and went alone.

I was under the impression that we were about to be signed out of the system with ADHD. That means no more tests just an annual follow up once a year. Our general practitioner can then give us the subscription drug Medikinet.

The doc was asking about our routines and what contrarian does after school etc when she suddenly said "it occurs to me that you still have to prepare him a lot for any change in routine".

We discussed how the medicine had in no way changed his intolerance for change in his routine.

The doc decided that she was not happy signing him out yet and she wants to see him again in December.

For the past month contrarian has not plaid with his friends after school. I asked the teacher if anything was going on but he said contrarian was very sociable at school. Last week he suddenly started visiting his friends after school again. I can only assume it was a 'phase' he was going through.

I did receive an email from school asking me to please talk to contrarian about taking his jacket and shoes off in the hall. He holds on to his jacket for dear life and won't let it out of sight.

I had a chat to him about it. Quite simple actually.

I said: "Contrarian, the school phoned today"

Contrarian: "Yes?"

"They want you to take your jacket off just like the other children have to".

Contrarian: "Oh...."

"If you can hang your jacket in the hall at home then you can do it at school!"

Contrarian: "Yes........"

"If you don't then there'll be no Wii games on Saturdays!".

Contrarian: "I'll hang my jacket in the hall like the others".

Sorted!

When ADHD works....

There's been meetings - plenty of meetings but all positive!

Contrarian has had a wonderful start to school even with a new school building, new teacher, new assistant and new special education teacher.

In fact the special education teacher has had to 'scrap' her 'special program' for the boy. He doesn't want to be taken out of the class room and his teacher feels that there is no need for him to have a 'special program' - for now. He is concentrating and completing his work.

At home the home work is going well.

He still does not like change to his routine. I put a new bookshelf in his room to make it look nicer - the result was tears and he wouldn't sleep in his room for 3 nights.

We spoke about it and he said that the 'new things' disturb him so much that he can't sleep.

There was a school sleepover trip last week. Last year it was a complete disaster. This year it was a great success. I was on the committee for planning the trip and so I slept over with the kids. It gave me a real opportunity to observe.

It was a wonderful feeling watching him with the other kids - he is now 'one of them' irrespective of his eccentricities.

Parents at school have started greeting me. I'm not sure if it is because they have realised that we are not a dysfunctional family or if it is because of my tenacity. Of course there is one dad who does not greet me but I truly think the man needs a shrink more than all the ADHD kids in the school put together.

We also had a parent meeting last week. The parent association brought up the issue of gossip and the negative effect it had on a particular case (no names mentioned). They recommended that in future it would be better for parents to rather phone the school and ask questions if they felt that a child was behaving differently instead of listening to gossip. It was pointed out that some families have challenges to deal with and need support not gossip and hostility.

Right now I am looking at the world from the top of Kilimanjaro. I am so excited for my son's future I can barely breathe. No doubt we will stumble as we continue our journey but for now - we can take a breather.

Still taking Medikinet 10 mg pr day. Sleeping problems are getting better. Change of routine - reading time from 8pm til 8.45. Warm bath after 8.45 - seems to have a calming effect. Boy is asleep by 10 pm.

Stomach ache continues. Have tried cutting out milk but no effect. Currently waking him up 6.45am to allow for early breakfast and rest after breakfast.

New school year

Contrarian and his brother spent 6 weeks in South Africa visiting their real dad and his family. They had a great time. Not always easy and big brother assures me that contrarian behaved more like 'a retard' than usual but I'll put that down to sibling rivalry.

There where a few 'incidents' - one involving contrarian smacking another girl in the face. It was awkward for a while but fortunately some of the adults there were aware of contrarian's intolerance for strangers.

When my ex phoned to voice his distress about the incident I couldn't help but think:"Finally you know what it's like to walk in my shoes'. Instead I said :"I'm sure that if you explain the situation to your friend's they will be understanding - they are after all your friends".

I felt determined that for 6 weeks their real dad should handle anything and everything that came his way. Apparently there were some very chaotic moments but all in all I felt that the boy bonded with his dad and that they had a good time.

The medicine went walk about somewhere in the Drakensberg - 3 weeks into the holiday. We have started the medicine again (one tablet pr day) and things are working out great. I'm still not entirely convinced the medication is the cause of all the positive things in our life. I believe there is a lot to be said for a child's sense of security and acceptance not to mention human connection. Something which we have received a lot of lately.

Contrarian is happy to be home with his friends and it is showing. He has had a wonderful start to the school year.

This week I have spoken to the school inspector, the new teacher and the special education teacher. They assure me that everything is going very well and they have no concerns. The boy himself is very happy.

We received a letter from the school. contrarian has been approved for 228 hours of special education (social education) and 760 hours for a personal assistant - either in a group or alone.

The social education started this week with a trip to the forest to build a lavvo (social dynamics group work). Contrarian refused to go with as he wanted to stay in the classroom with the rest of the class.

The teacher wasn't fazed by it at all as contrarian did the classroom work with no problem. But the special education teacher phoned and asked me to talk to contrarian about going with to build the lavvo.

We have asked contrarian several times if he feels a difference on the tablets but his response is always "No, just stomach ache!".

I have a meeting with BUP (children's psychiatric department) on Tuesday. They want to hear how things are going with contrarian.

Right now - life is everything we have ever wished for!

Diagnosis ADHD

24th June 2011:

We received a rapport from PPT. Contrarian's diagnosis is ADHD with some traits of Aspergers.

The 3 weeks on medication have shown a marked difference in his ability to focus at school. At home he is much the same. Maybe not as fidgety.

I am critical to the medication and feel a sense of concern.

side effects

We have just arrived back from the psychiatrist.

The first week of medication was fine - not much side effects.

Second week we upped the medication - first to 2 tablets then to 3 tablets. Contrarian had terrible stomach ache after that. Increasingly difficulty falling asleep at night and difficulty getting up in the morning.

I decided to go back to 2 tablets after 3 days.

Today was a disaster - he could barely walk never mind get dressed and ready.

The doctor asked if I wanted to go back to one tablet a day and I said yes. To be honest - continuing with more than one tablet a day is not an option for me.

The school has noticed a marked difference in his ability to focus. Today is the last day of school.

Trying new things!

OMG - My boy learned to cycle last weekend!!

We have tried sooooo many times to persuade him to try cycling without the extra wheels but it turned out a disaster every single time. He just wouldn't try.

So on Saturday morning I said to him "We are going to the beach - you can come with but you have to cycle if you do". He gave me a look and shook his head.

Five minutes later he came and said "Mum, I want to come with but I can't cycle". I told him that I would walk with my bike if he walked with his.

Before we knew it he was on the bike and pushing with his legs - then suddenly he started picking up speed and voila! He started peddling.

I don't know if it has anything to do with the medicine but I am so proud of him.

With the exception of a change in sleeping pattern we have noticed no negative side effects of the medicine yet.

I can't notice a difference in his behaviour but dad and big brother say that they can. They feel that contrarian is 'listening' to them before he responds. For them it makes communicating with him easier.

To me he seems as talkative as ever.

Starting medicines

Started medicines today. Contrarian hates swallowing tablets so I had to open the capsules and give him the powder form. We'll practise the swallowing.

We have to visit the hospital on Friday for an Elektrokardiogram (EKG) and blood tests.

Contrarian not so happy about the blood tests.

Follow up coming.....

Visiting the dentist

Life is so good at the moment - it couldn't possibly be better!

Contrarian had a dentist appointment today. Dentist appointments have always been cause of distress in the past.

My boy just behaved 'normal' - like he does at home. He calmly sat down for x-rays. Did exactly what he was told and didn't push any buttons or grab the remote control for the chair. No playing with the dentist equipment or spraying water all over.

He just sat down and opened his mouth.

I didn't prep him - I didn't bribe him - nothing.

It was such a wonderful feeling walking out of the dentist office that I cried. Just couldn't help myself.

Tomorrow we have appointment with neurologist and the next day the psychiatrist.

We are just on such a wonderful 'up' ride at the moment!

Good going

Contrarian's teacher phoned today. She phoned to tell me 2 things:

1. Contrarian got a ball in his face again - playing football. Instead of bopping anybody (like he usually does) he ran inside and found a chair to sit in while he cried. The teacher said it really must have hurt because his face was very red where the ball had hit him.

2. Yesterday - two other children were getting into an argument in the classroom. The teacher was keeping an eye on the situation because she could see it was escalating. One of the kids was Contrarian's best friend.

Suddenly Contrarian walked in between the two and gently pushed them away from oneanother. He said something to the two boys and shook his head. The kids then all walked away and sat down in their seats.

She feels that our little talk about self control and taking 'time out' to think before reacting has worked.

I feel this is worthy of a celebration! Yay Contrarian!

Rough start to the weekend

Contrarian received a birthday invitation from two girl's in class (joint birthday). I thought about it for a week and decided that we were going to skip this one.

Birthday parties are generally disastrous - even if it's a party with just the boys in class. A birthday party with 9 boys and 20 girls - well, I don't even want to go there - literally!

Unfortunately I chose the wrong time to tell Contrarian this. Ten minutes before he walked out the door to go to school on Friday morning. How stupid of me!!

Contrarian was deeply unhappy and felt I was very unjustified by not letting him go. This he loudly demonstrated by banging the front door as he left.

I had just finished my morning walk when the phone rang. Of course it was the school.

The teacher wanted me at the school a.s.a.p to demonstrate her seriousness to the boy. I obliged her by arriving at the school 13 minutes after her phone call. I have no doubt that her liking me has much to do with my instant response to any request that she might make.

To tell the truth - I am so grateful to finally have a teacher who shows an understanding for my child's oddities - that I would walk on burning coal if she had to ask.

The new 'special' teacher had her first day and the kids had been asked to stand in a line before they walked into the class room so that they could great her.

Contrarian had been fooling around with the class room keys and would just not listen. He was asked not to enter the classroom but stand in a line with all the other children. In pure defiance he walked into the classroom.

The new teacher took him by the arm to lead him back to the line. Contrarian went ballistic.

He started pulling away and hitting. Then his own teacher came and tried to restrain him because he was hitting the other teacher and he ended up scratching her too.

Then his assistant came and only then did he calm down.

The teacher, assistant and I spent an hour with him talking about unacceptable behaviour and self control, cause and effect etc.

I explained to him that this was why I wouldn't let him go to the birthday party. Because I was worried that if there was a disagreement of sorts - he would hit and scratch somebody.

He seemed to accept and understand what we said and he apologized for lashing out at his teacher.

I am so grateful that the school staff are as understanding and supportive as they are!

The teacher told me to leave it at that and not take any further action so we have put it behind us.

Saturday I told Contrarian that he would have to walk with me to town center if he wanted his Saturday sweets. He didn't complain once (usually he hates walking). We ended up having a lovely weekend. A nice recovery from a shaky start to the weekend.

Twice this week

The school phoned today again. There had been an incident again.

The children had been playing football and everything was going well until one of the boys kicked the ball and it hit Contrarian in the stomach. Of course, it had not been intentional but contrarian thought it was.

Contrarian had burst out crying holding his stomach then run up to the other boy and grabbed him by the hair. Both boys were in tears.

The school inspector had spoken to Contrarian and he had apologized - realizing that it had not been an intentional move on the other boy's side.

The inspector decided to keep Contrarian in her office with her (where he has his own little corner to play with lego and read books). He wanted to catch the bus home with the other children but also wanted some alone time after the incident.

I sense we are in another one of those phases. It's like a tsunami wave - a giant force that wipes us clean and then leaves us to pick up the pieces and start building from scratch again.

There's nothing we can do - just wait for it to disappear.

Incident in the classroom

We had an incident at school yesterday.

Contrarian pissed off one of the girls by throwing her books around. She smacked him on the knee. Contrarian pushed her and ended up scratching her in the face.

It's difficult finding out the finer details of the matter but I am deeply unhappy that he scratched her in the face. It tells me that there was a 'violent' altercation.

There were no adults in the classroom when it happened. The assistant was off sick and the regular teacher was replaced with a temp.

I'm considering asking the school to let me know when there are temps so that I can keep contrarian at home on those days.

These kind of incidents just put us so far behind again. It's the first one in a very long time but it really doesn't help his situation with the girls in the class.

I still haven't decided on how to deal with this but I'll start with no TV for a couple of days. It will give us time to talk about anger management and solutions.

We had a meeting with the teacher last week. She felt that things are going much better.

I noticed the following:

Contrarian looks her in the eyes when she is talking to him.

He pays attention to what she has to say and he doesn't get off his chair and walk away the way he used to.

She is much more confident in dealing with him and firmer - which is a good thing!

Everything else is going well at the moment.

Nevropsykologisk rapport

Tuesday 22 March

Today I had a meeting with the neuropsychologist.

He strongly feels that contrarian has ADHD in addition to Aspergers. It's difficult to know if the 'impulsive behavior' is a symptom of the Aspergers or ADHD but there's a strong possibility it's the ADHD.

If it is a symptom of ADHD then medication could help in the therapy.

If it's a symptom of Aspergers - well then the medication won't do much good.

I have always been very reluctant to use drugs on a child. Drugs have no place in a child's body. But then there are children like my son who really want to 'fit in'. Like most children - he just wants to be like everybody else. The thing is - he's not like everybody else.

If medication can give him the 'thing' that he needs to be able to behave like other kids in new situations and with strangers - maybe that's a good thing.

Maybe it will open a whole new world for him. The ability to try new things and make new friends.

Everything is going well at the moment. The three musketeers (friends) have found eachother again.

I had a meeting with his teacher yesterday. Things are going well at school - much better than they used to. This last week he has been uncooperative and questioning everything but it is always much better than it was a few months back.

The teacher has put contrarian in charge of a project - teaching the other kids English by presenting them with questions to answer.

He thrives in his role as 'English teacher'.

Below is a diagram. The average is 50. It is clear that contrarians ability to focus and shift focus is way below average.

An appointment has been made with the psychiatrist for 1 June.

Visit to the Neuropsychologist

February 22nd - Contrarian spent the morning with the specialist (neuropsychologist) doing tests.

The doc said that it was a slow start but picked up. Contrarian said that the doc didn't speak to him that much- he just had to do tests on a computer - like push the spacebar when he didn't see a letter that was X.

I'm sure that they did a lot more during the 2 hours but I will find out later when they call me in.

Contrarian is no longer so friendly with two of his friends. Once the 'bleyblade' phase was over the boys didn't seem so eager on each other's company.

He is spending more time with his original friend with the playstation. They have a very dynamic relationship because they are similar in some ways. It turns out this little boy's parents were called in by PPT recently. His parent's have told me so I know what is going on but I don't want to talk about another child on this blog.

Contrarian had a little outburst at school last week but other than that he is very happy at school. The incident happened when a new teacher (stranger) tried to take his ice hockey stick away from him - that would be the ice hockey stick that he sleeps with in bed (he was demonstrating something in the hallway).

She hadn't yet been informed that contrarian is Aspergers so she got annoyed with him when he didn't 'respond' to her. Contrarian was devastated and had a shutdown. Fortunately his assistant heard the commotion and came running. It was resolved once his own teacher and assistant took care of the situation.

We have worked on defining his relationship with the ice hockey stick. He is now able to leave it in the hallway at home so that he doesn't knock things over inside the house.

Uro og trass

Yesterday I had a meeting with BUP. They explained how they had scored my boy during the last observation.

In communication he got 14 points where the cut off point was 10. That means that he is 4 points into the Asperger area. Socially he got 12 points where the cut off was 6. That means 6 points into Aspergers area. Behaviour he got 10 where I seam to remember the cut off was 3 points.

The psychologists feel that he was so uncooperative during the observation session that they can't close with a diagnosis yet. Here I was marveling at how I had never seen him so cooperative with a stranger before!

They can't assess if he is restless and defiant because he can't do the task or if it is because he doesn't want to.

This means that another psychiatrist will be called inn to assess the case. There might be more observations/sessions or it might be decided that there's enough to make a final diagnosis.

The psychologists recommend medication in order to find out if the defiant behaviour is ADHD. If contrarian's defiant behaviour does not change on medication then it will indicate that the behaviour is because of the Aspergers. However, the psychiatrist will make this decision.

I'm not too enthusiastic about using medication - there's something unnatural about drugs in a child's body. However, if it can improve his social abilities at school then maybe it is worth some consideration. Another unknown territory for me.

Observation - BUP

Just realized that I forgot to write about the last observation my boy did!

Observation 7th January 2011 - BUP Asker.

I was allowed to watch through a mirror/window - like the ones in NCIS when they play 'bad cop - good cop'. It was a taped session.

We had explained to contrarian that he was going to 'play' with the psychiatrist. He wasn't happy about it, he couldn't quite understand what the fuss was about. I told him that it was because of the WISC test results. That the doctors wanted to know how he could be so clever when his concentration was age appropriate. He accepted my explanation although reluctantly.

He was very offish to the psychiatrist - very distrusting. She tried to engage him in 'role-play' but he told her that he found it childish so he didn't want to play with her.

She would chose a bag for each task. In the bag there would be various toys - there would always be at least one item that didn't fit in with the rest of the toys. He liked the gadgets, at one point he became completely fascinated with a sort of 'pin pad' thing. The one where you can put your hand or face and push the 'pins' to the other side so that it makes an imprint of your hand or face. He loved the detail. He didn't like the figures at all - called them childish.

The questions went something like :"Is mum/dad/friend/sister happy?What does mum do when she happy/angry/sad?How do you know that mum is happy/angry/sad? What does mum like to do?" etc .

I realized that my son

a) Doesn't see facial expressions

b)Doesn't read body language

c)Doesn't know what anybody in his family or social group likes doing or doesn't like doing (except for beyblades - apparently all his friends are only interested in beyblades just like him).

d)He knows when his little sister is angry/upset because she is vocal - she cries or screams. We have to help her then because she is a baby.

e)He does know and remember everything I tell him verbally-even if he doesn't agree with it.

f)My son doesn't know that I smile when I am happy or that I laugh a lot but he can 'feel' it. He can't explain that I go quiet when I am upset or that I go for a walk when I am sad but he can 'feel' it. And the truth is that he does feel it. I know because he will ask me "mummy what is wrong?".

There was a particular task where she took out a book. She then asked contrarian to tell her the story. The book was about the life cycle of frogs.

Contrarian became very enthused - basically grabbed the book from her hands wile she was still talking - nodding his head and pushing her hands away. I was taken aback by his in depth knowledge and understanding of the detailed process. His intelligence shinned through on all accounts. So did his lack of ability to 'read' other people.

One of the psychologist phoned me a few days later to ask if BUP could use the video in their training sessions. I said 'yes'.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with BUP to hear what the psychiatrist made of the observation and what conclusions she has come to.

EEG

Contrarian went for an EEG this morning. He was a little disturbed by the funny gel stuff they put in his hair and forehead but generally he was very patient.

I noticed that he seamed to get very tired when doing the 'fast' breathing exercises.

When it was finished we were given a piece of paper to give to the admin office. I noticed that it read : 'diagnosis' - Z033/G409.

They said that we would get the results in a weeks time.

Everything is great at the moment, my boy is so happy with life. Even doing his homework without protestations!