Another Meeting - another parent

Two o'clock and the phone rang. Could I please come to the school immediately - there had been a serious incident.

I got in the car and drove straight there - my thoughts all over the place. The tone had indicated that my boy had done something bad.

The story wasn't very long. Other boy kicked a ball in my son's face. My son saw the opportunity a few minutes later and walked up to boy in classroom and punched him in the face.

The other mum was quite understanding considering (she even asked my boy how he was feeling).

The good bit - at least my boy explained himself to the school inspector (usually he shuts down) - the bad bit is that he knows he is not allowed to hit, especially not in such a pre-medidated fashion.

So much for him not being a 'violent' child - I can throw that defense out the window.

I was so upset I could barely speak. We got in the car - I gave him a short 3o sec explanation of my frustration and then I knew I had to find a quiet place.

We drove in silence. When we got home I loudly shared my distress with hubby and told him that I didn't want to see the boy in front of me for the next hour. Hubby sent our champion boxer to his bedroom.

It took me an hour to calm down before I could calmly sit down with the boy and dig my way through his complicated mind.

He opened up and it pored out. The anger comes from the constant rejection. When he talks to the other children and they don't bother to answer him. When he walks toward the football field the boys in the 'A' class shout at him to get away. Nobody really listens to what he has to say - they act as if he is not there. He doesn't feel a part of anything.

We discussed those who treat him nicely - which would include the boy he just punched and how we should actually be more tolerant with those who are nice to us because they deserve it.

I told him how I felt about the way he treated his teacher and how sad it makes me feel that she doesn't get to see the nice little boy that I get to see everyday. I described how she alway stands up for us and is the first one to say "but, he is not the only little boy who does that".

We spoke about showing how we feel and not trying to hide behind a 'shield'. How his world would change if only he could show the school the little boy who I see every day at home.

Tomorrow is another day.

(*Boy was fast asleep before 20.30 tonight - very tired!)