The school phoned today again. There had been an incident again.
The children had been playing football and everything was going well until one of the boys kicked the ball and it hit Contrarian in the stomach. Of course, it had not been intentional but contrarian thought it was.
Contrarian had burst out crying holding his stomach then run up to the other boy and grabbed him by the hair. Both boys were in tears.
The school inspector had spoken to Contrarian and he had apologized - realizing that it had not been an intentional move on the other boy's side.
The inspector decided to keep Contrarian in her office with her (where he has his own little corner to play with lego and read books). He wanted to catch the bus home with the other children but also wanted some alone time after the incident.
I sense we are in another one of those phases. It's like a tsunami wave - a giant force that wipes us clean and then leaves us to pick up the pieces and start building from scratch again.
There's nothing we can do - just wait for it to disappear.
You've all been going through so much trying to get a handle on how best to manage Contrarian's personality, it must be very stressful. I must say, though, based on my experience working at a primary school, what Contrarian did (lashing out after being unintentionally hit by a ball) isn't all that unusual. From what I've seen, half the time kids get hurt on the playground or in class they need to blame someone else for what happened, even if it was an accident. Out of that half, maybe a third will hit back. So Contrarian's response, although maybe a little over the top, wasn't totally unnatural. Just my opinion; I don't know if it helps or not but I hope it does. Hugs to you guys!
ReplyDeleteThanks Michele - you are right, it's not really a big thing - kids react physically all the time. We are maybe a little extra sensitive because of the other parents making so many formal complaints to the school. After all - we all have various degrees of temperament.
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