Finally finished

We were called in for an appointment with BUP (child psychiatric unit) last week. The doctors have decided to finalize with an ADHD and Aspergers diagnosis.

The medicine has had no effect on Contrarian's social skills.

Contrarian is doing very well at school although he is not that attached to anybody. He goes through phases were he sometimes goes home with friends every day of the week and then suddenly doesn't want to for a long time.

He likes friends as long as they want to do an activity that he wants to do. The moment they suggest something else - in particular a physical activity then Contrarian no longer wants to hang around.

We have bought him a fish tank. He is very interested in fish at the moment.

It's only when we enter new spaces with new people that I realize how different my son is. He does not acknowledge other people unless I instruct him to.

The boy is doing good. We have small ups and downs but we have come so far.

Still struggling with the sensory issues. He pulls his T-shirts to shreads as he tries to make them 'bigger'. Any bigger and they will look like a dress on him.

Still can not get him to wear anything else but track suites. He has recently learned to tie his own shoe laces.

Very proud moment for us both.

Late Update

We had a meeting with the 'overlege' (psychiatrist) at BUP a month ago. I was supposed to bring contrarian with but I misunderstood and went alone.

I was under the impression that we were about to be signed out of the system with ADHD. That means no more tests just an annual follow up once a year. Our general practitioner can then give us the subscription drug Medikinet.

The doc was asking about our routines and what contrarian does after school etc when she suddenly said "it occurs to me that you still have to prepare him a lot for any change in routine".

We discussed how the medicine had in no way changed his intolerance for change in his routine.

The doc decided that she was not happy signing him out yet and she wants to see him again in December.

For the past month contrarian has not plaid with his friends after school. I asked the teacher if anything was going on but he said contrarian was very sociable at school. Last week he suddenly started visiting his friends after school again. I can only assume it was a 'phase' he was going through.

I did receive an email from school asking me to please talk to contrarian about taking his jacket and shoes off in the hall. He holds on to his jacket for dear life and won't let it out of sight.

I had a chat to him about it. Quite simple actually.

I said: "Contrarian, the school phoned today"

Contrarian: "Yes?"

"They want you to take your jacket off just like the other children have to".

Contrarian: "Oh...."

"If you can hang your jacket in the hall at home then you can do it at school!"

Contrarian: "Yes........"

"If you don't then there'll be no Wii games on Saturdays!".

Contrarian: "I'll hang my jacket in the hall like the others".

Sorted!

When ADHD works....

There's been meetings - plenty of meetings but all positive!

Contrarian has had a wonderful start to school even with a new school building, new teacher, new assistant and new special education teacher.

In fact the special education teacher has had to 'scrap' her 'special program' for the boy. He doesn't want to be taken out of the class room and his teacher feels that there is no need for him to have a 'special program' - for now. He is concentrating and completing his work.

At home the home work is going well.

He still does not like change to his routine. I put a new bookshelf in his room to make it look nicer - the result was tears and he wouldn't sleep in his room for 3 nights.

We spoke about it and he said that the 'new things' disturb him so much that he can't sleep.

There was a school sleepover trip last week. Last year it was a complete disaster. This year it was a great success. I was on the committee for planning the trip and so I slept over with the kids. It gave me a real opportunity to observe.

It was a wonderful feeling watching him with the other kids - he is now 'one of them' irrespective of his eccentricities.

Parents at school have started greeting me. I'm not sure if it is because they have realised that we are not a dysfunctional family or if it is because of my tenacity. Of course there is one dad who does not greet me but I truly think the man needs a shrink more than all the ADHD kids in the school put together.

We also had a parent meeting last week. The parent association brought up the issue of gossip and the negative effect it had on a particular case (no names mentioned). They recommended that in future it would be better for parents to rather phone the school and ask questions if they felt that a child was behaving differently instead of listening to gossip. It was pointed out that some families have challenges to deal with and need support not gossip and hostility.

Right now I am looking at the world from the top of Kilimanjaro. I am so excited for my son's future I can barely breathe. No doubt we will stumble as we continue our journey but for now - we can take a breather.

Still taking Medikinet 10 mg pr day. Sleeping problems are getting better. Change of routine - reading time from 8pm til 8.45. Warm bath after 8.45 - seems to have a calming effect. Boy is asleep by 10 pm.

Stomach ache continues. Have tried cutting out milk but no effect. Currently waking him up 6.45am to allow for early breakfast and rest after breakfast.

New school year

Contrarian and his brother spent 6 weeks in South Africa visiting their real dad and his family. They had a great time. Not always easy and big brother assures me that contrarian behaved more like 'a retard' than usual but I'll put that down to sibling rivalry.

There where a few 'incidents' - one involving contrarian smacking another girl in the face. It was awkward for a while but fortunately some of the adults there were aware of contrarian's intolerance for strangers.

When my ex phoned to voice his distress about the incident I couldn't help but think:"Finally you know what it's like to walk in my shoes'. Instead I said :"I'm sure that if you explain the situation to your friend's they will be understanding - they are after all your friends".

I felt determined that for 6 weeks their real dad should handle anything and everything that came his way. Apparently there were some very chaotic moments but all in all I felt that the boy bonded with his dad and that they had a good time.

The medicine went walk about somewhere in the Drakensberg - 3 weeks into the holiday. We have started the medicine again (one tablet pr day) and things are working out great. I'm still not entirely convinced the medication is the cause of all the positive things in our life. I believe there is a lot to be said for a child's sense of security and acceptance not to mention human connection. Something which we have received a lot of lately.

Contrarian is happy to be home with his friends and it is showing. He has had a wonderful start to the school year.

This week I have spoken to the school inspector, the new teacher and the special education teacher. They assure me that everything is going very well and they have no concerns. The boy himself is very happy.

We received a letter from the school. contrarian has been approved for 228 hours of special education (social education) and 760 hours for a personal assistant - either in a group or alone.

The social education started this week with a trip to the forest to build a lavvo (social dynamics group work). Contrarian refused to go with as he wanted to stay in the classroom with the rest of the class.

The teacher wasn't fazed by it at all as contrarian did the classroom work with no problem. But the special education teacher phoned and asked me to talk to contrarian about going with to build the lavvo.

We have asked contrarian several times if he feels a difference on the tablets but his response is always "No, just stomach ache!".

I have a meeting with BUP (children's psychiatric department) on Tuesday. They want to hear how things are going with contrarian.

Right now - life is everything we have ever wished for!

Diagnosis ADHD

24th June 2011:

We received a rapport from PPT. Contrarian's diagnosis is ADHD with some traits of Aspergers.

The 3 weeks on medication have shown a marked difference in his ability to focus at school. At home he is much the same. Maybe not as fidgety.

I am critical to the medication and feel a sense of concern.

side effects

We have just arrived back from the psychiatrist.

The first week of medication was fine - not much side effects.

Second week we upped the medication - first to 2 tablets then to 3 tablets. Contrarian had terrible stomach ache after that. Increasingly difficulty falling asleep at night and difficulty getting up in the morning.

I decided to go back to 2 tablets after 3 days.

Today was a disaster - he could barely walk never mind get dressed and ready.

The doctor asked if I wanted to go back to one tablet a day and I said yes. To be honest - continuing with more than one tablet a day is not an option for me.

The school has noticed a marked difference in his ability to focus. Today is the last day of school.

Trying new things!

OMG - My boy learned to cycle last weekend!!

We have tried sooooo many times to persuade him to try cycling without the extra wheels but it turned out a disaster every single time. He just wouldn't try.

So on Saturday morning I said to him "We are going to the beach - you can come with but you have to cycle if you do". He gave me a look and shook his head.

Five minutes later he came and said "Mum, I want to come with but I can't cycle". I told him that I would walk with my bike if he walked with his.

Before we knew it he was on the bike and pushing with his legs - then suddenly he started picking up speed and voila! He started peddling.

I don't know if it has anything to do with the medicine but I am so proud of him.

With the exception of a change in sleeping pattern we have noticed no negative side effects of the medicine yet.

I can't notice a difference in his behaviour but dad and big brother say that they can. They feel that contrarian is 'listening' to them before he responds. For them it makes communicating with him easier.

To me he seems as talkative as ever.